There is no reason to believe you still exist.
I'm not sure what it's related to. It is, of course, possible that I completely messed it up by the way I reacted when it happened. It is likely that I pushed you away. But still... It happened before with people that wasn't me, didn't it?
There is no reason to believe you would read this.
I'm starting to think it's just the way I am. I seem to be the kind of guy who can never be happy with what he has. I always need the thing I once had. When I had you, I wanted the girl I had before you. When I had her, I could only think about that first one. And now, when I'm back together with that first girl, I can't seem to stop thinking about you.
There is no reason to think you're even giving me a second thought.
And what is it I want? Do I want to build a carreer? I've been building that for ages. It doesn't seem to make me very happy. Do I want you? I didn't seem to like you all that much. Do I want her? Well, apparently that's not ideal either.
There is no reason to stay awake.
I wish I could tell her I am able to change.
I wish I could promise you I am able to change.
I wish I could show the next one how much I have changed.
There is no reason to complain.
But the truth?
I still think about her.
I still think about you.
I still think about that girl I've loved when I was sixteen.
(I'm sure you've grown numb by now.)
How are you?
I'm doing well.
How is your family?
They're doing well.
(And the endless nagging continues.)
I wish to see you again.
And yet I'm quite happy.
Quite.
As usual.
(There is no reason to doubt.)
It's fine.
Fine.
Bye.